Spirit Of Iona

 

 

 

Iona of my heart/ I return/ a pilgrim to your willing shores/

in a sackcloth of rainbow ash/ coming alive in your light/

coming alive in your dove feather hands/ I bend

to the rhythm of your breathing/ my city-tainted spirit,

humbled by the eloquence of your silence.

 

 

 

 

1.

 

The city is behind me, with its fiery chimneys belching out

desperation & calls to forever reach out, stretch

cold muscles ever towards could-be & might be & if-only.

I am alone on the white strand of Port Ban and only am/

my hands relaxed/ gently holding onto nothingness/

the lucid green Atlantic slowly lapping round my feet/

God the Mother sharing her mystery/ and on the still shores

of Iona, I am quiet enough inside to hear/ her poetry,

finer than a carved sand yantra/ the subtle intonations

taking me thruí and beyond the entire gamut

of my experience and usual emotional reaction/

she moves me, as I have never been moved before/

she moves me slowly, gently, as only a mother would,

to a greater and greater understanding/ deeper and deeper

into the silence, into the stillness/ until I can encompass

the infinite/ until I can taste her salt spindrift

in the fibres of my tongue.

 

My feet are moss green, rooted into water and sand/

I am still as a valley oak/ my branches steady

in the shimmering summer sky/ my leaves

photosynthesising raw energy/ I grow, undetected/

unannounced/ quietly giving thanks to The Great Spirit.

 

 

 

 


2.

 

Here begins the pilgrimage.I shall be mindful of walking/

mindful of every rock, every pebble, every blade of grass,

every grain of sand/ mindful of every thought, every desire,

every memory/ mindful of God/ mindful of my presence/

mindful of my journey/ mindful of the small step

with which it commences.

 

I am a five year old, crunching across the sand

with bright bucket and spade/ a smile bigger than my face/

yelling and whooping as I run down to the intoxicating sea/

my family shuffling behind/ my first time out the city/

there is so much space, I cannot contain my joy/ it pours

out of me in raw, controversial noise/ my first memory

of Iona/ but going back further... I am a monk

in brown hessian cowl/ silence, my friend/

God, my shepherd/ joy, my serious companion/ laughter,

a forgotten comrade/ my hands are large and callused,

like giant spades/ my shoulders are broad/ I build huts,

tend cattle, chop wood, sow and reap/

simplicity attends me/ God is in my heart/ and I

am in Godís heart... and we are all

in the heart of this noisy, exuberant child/ this five year old,

fresh out of the city/ leaping carelessly

over the legs of naked, sunbathing hippies/ yelling

and screaming, fit to burst/ a stranger to tranquillity/

with no respect for gangaís fragile sensibilities.

 

I have been every age here.This island knows me

in the depths of its soul.Our atoms are fragmented,

have interchanged in karmic tangle over aeons.

I am mindless of my history, but I know, inside of me,

there beats a heart of pink granite, green marble,

sodden peat, bleached sand.I am Iona and Iona is me.

Our spirits are melded as one.We have known formation,

solitude and becoming.We have tasted the invocations

of both the wise and the desperate.We have shared

our light and our shadows with every seeker

who has sought these shores.

 

Iona of my heart, Iona of my love, I have sought you

throughout forever.When you were lava

I was cooling water.When you were barren I was the seed.

When you were empty I was the first wandering tribe.

When you were faithless I brought you love.

When you were radiant I came to you

in all my wounded humility.And now, as you glow

to sunburst intensity, I come to you,

in the penultimate stage of entropy: a victim

of too many lifetimes; I come to be healed,

to have my burden lifted, my back straightened,

my eyes filled with light, my heart filled with love.

I come to be emptied out.

Because, only empty, can I merge with the infinite again.

 

 

 

 

 


3.

 

This valley of flowers, running along the western edge

of the stony ground, beyond the clachancorach

of my dreams, this is where I spilled myself into you:

into the vulva of the one woman, into the vulva

of the thousand women.It was the ultimate union,

the one true yoga: the yang dissolved in yin;

lingum abluted in yoni.In fucking, I became pure.

I discovered my true essence.The link

between me and you: the link that destroyed

all sense of identity.In afterglow, I could not distinguish

between sun and hills, flowers and sky, cock and cunt,

semen and rain.I lost my knowledge; and re-discovered

mind-less bliss.

 

The poppies in this valley are filled with loversí blood.

This is the centre of the island, where the pulse

of the goddess beats at its loudest, at its most clear.

I can smell orgasm in the grass, taste resonance in the air.

Couples are pulled here to copulate: strangers

who meet by chance are tempted by the fates;

hermits and solitaries, torn by withered memories.

Such is the power of this place.

 

Who is the you, I miss here?Who is it

my heart yearns for?Primal woman who embodies

every woman.Goddess of my dark blood.You sing

on the wind which whispers through my hair.

Your scent rising through me, filling me.I am woman

to the overpowering nature of your womanhood.

I want to lie prone between your legs: a supplicant

at your altar.A priest offering wine

to your pleasure.Bend me.End me.

I need to lose myself in your never never.

 

 

 

 


4.

 

There is safety in circles: these scattered stones/

I am empowered, centred: at one.I sense the presence

of the dove man, the pale saint from Ireland.His peace,

of the profoundest kind: a peace, struggled for.

There is the struggle, and then the letting go.

 

Only by becoming empty can one be filled.

 

There is more Cuchulain in my sword hand

than Columcille.The Tao is in my head, but not my centre.

In stillness and mindfulness, I am learning ways

to circumvent the chaos.But in my middle years, I am

still crawling.There is so much I have forgotten.Though,

not enough.Breathing into my hara, into my solar plexus,

into my heart chakra, I slow my thoughts to a minimum:

become aware of the movement of clouds and grass,

the stillness of stones and soil.Colours and smells

come to me more peaceably now.Sounds form

into patterns.Bird song becomes language:

wind, pentatonic music.I hear so much more now,

but not enough.

 

It is said, he could talk to birds.That the doves

would follow him round the island.That his acolytes

were constantly surprised... and loved him all the more

for that.It is hard to remember he was a prince, a warlord,

a murderer: hard to keep a perspective, to know

that though your goal is so far away, it is still possible

to travel further.

 

In this sacred space, I know not that I will become, but

that I am.In timelessness I understand the illusion

of time for what it is.God and I are one.

 

 

 

 


5.

 

Three hundred and thirty feet above the sea;

and I am on top of the world.The Cuillins of Skye

to my North.Ireland to my South.The Atlantic

to my West.The ferry home to my East.I can see

everything from here.The wind ferocious in my hair.

Skylarks in my ears.I am in love

with the whole crazy fucking world, for all its Hiroshimas,

Belsens, Belfasts, Dresdens, Sarajevos, it is still

a beautiful, extraordinary place.My life lies

before me now, a mystery unfolding.I will take

a small part of this peace home with me.

 

Wherever that may be.

 

 

†††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††

 

 

 

 

 

Read more of Dee Sunshine's poetry

Check out Dee Sunshine's books

Return to Main Menu